If there’s one thing I truly learned this year it’s that friends and family mean the most.
I’m not always the most keen on New Year’s celebrations, I think it has to do with the fact that I’m not someone who's always been fond of change. In my head all of a sudden it’s as if a book is closed and locked with a key, never to be reopened again. I waited for 2021 for 6 years, it may puzzle you why? But I couldn’t wait to graduate and go into the “real world” as everyone calls it. But it’s funny my professors still say to me when you go into the “real world” so I guess I’m not there yet.
If there's anything I’ve always told myself no matter what state of mind I was in, I knew I was destined for more. 2021 signified for me new beginnings, new changes. I started this year in the safety of my home, and it's where I plan to finish, but sometimes it feels as if I lived a whole lifetime in just this year alone. 2021 had such beautiful highs, as well as painful lows. It’s given me the chance to meet new friends, go new places, and have new experiences. But it also has come with its baggage whether that be having to say goodbye, the loss of friendship, and at times trying to keep myself afloat.
Every year I say I’m discovering who I am more and more and while it’s partly true it's mostly bullshit because I was in high school trying to meet everyone else's expectations of who I should be. I was trying my best to succeed in things I didn't even understand. But it’s funny as I just scrolled through my camera roll, it's as if the facade started to drop and I finally, finally I'm starting to learn who I am.
But if there's anything I know is true in my life I’ve learned that my family and friends are the greatest gift I could ever have. Those whom I’ve gone to cry to, to rant to, to make me smile, to share a laugh have brought the utmost amount of joy. When I left for college it was a shitshow of a day, and I even wrote about it. But in that process I learned how much I love my family, and I don’t know what I would do without them, even when we’re bickering with each other. As I’ve been on break now for a little over a week, I’ve found myself just going to sit in the same room as my family members even if not interested in what they’re doing. Simply because I just want to be around them. A year ago I could have told you how much I love my family but I was more likely to spend my winter break pent up in my room.
While entering college has been horrifying, it has also rewarded me with the pleasure of meeting new friends. Not too long ago I called one of my friends asking if they wanted to go to see the tree at Rockefeller Center and without hesitation they said yes. Why I bring this day up is because we just “let the world” take us from place to place truly with no destination in mind. From Rockefeller Center to random dinners to the movie theater. And I laughed my ass off the entire time because the 3 of us were just simply ourselves acting like fools in the middle of New York City. It’s moments such as these that I know I will always hold dearly, and make me grateful for change in life.
Recently I turned 19, several of my friends came into the city and met some of my friends from college, and we proceeded to go out to dinner. The one thing I told myself earlier that day was when I sat down I wanted to cheer for them to not only thank them for being there but for making me laugh and smile at times I needed it most and they didn't even know. Friends and family, my 2 biggest treasures in life: my confidants, my therapists, my secret keepers, and much more. They are truly why I can look at my 2021 and have more beautiful and fulfilling memories than negative.
I’ll be completely honest I’m scared for 2022, I don't know how much else we can all take before we could possibly break. But, I'm sure no matter what it may bring there will still be laughter, smiles, and the chance for new experiences. I’ll end this with my senior quote which I decided to go in the more poetic direction than the other which would have been a quote from a drag queen.
“Be patient, the best is yet to come, the truth is, you never know what life holds for you.” - a.z
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