My first 2 weeks of college have been the opposite of what I imagined. When I woke up on August 21st it was a beautiful day. It just happened to be my parents’ 28th wedding anniversary. I woke up and headed downstairs as my brother was headed up to his house near his college for his final year. It was before the afternoon and I had already started crying, as I was leaving for college the next day. I’ll be honest when I was crying it was mostly over my dog. I said goodbye to my brother with tear stained cheeks, him wishing me the best of luck and to call him whenever.
I proceeded to my living room where I spent time enjoying my coffee from home watching youtube, and petting my dog as I cried. The next couple of hours all feel like a memory that barely exists. I was sitting on my bed making sure I had taken out the remainder of my clothing that needed to be packed away when the next thing my Mom comes in. She sits down and tells me Storm Henri is coming our way. We have 2 options. One, hope for the best and still move in tomorrow. Or pack up the car and leave in about 2 hours. With that I packed as much as I could, texted all my friends that I could think of telling them I needed to see them in the next hour to say goodbye.
I made my runs to my friends houses telling them the sudden news that I would be leaving for college in less than 2 hours. It felt as if there were no time for emotions, I had to pack, make sure everything was together, and move in before this damn hurricane. I arrived home to my Dad in our driveway maneuvering big blue ikea bags into our car. I rushed inside continuing to pack, being told that close family friends and my grandparents would be coming over to say “see you later.”
It was as if I turned around and they were all there. I was beyond flustered as my parents were understandably. I almost forgot to eat my leftovers from our family dinner the night before, I sat down with 2 of my closest friends, telling them I truly couldn't believe this was happening. Then I was saying goodbye to those who I interact with everyday and couldn't see for quite some time. With them leaving I then said goodbye to my oldest brother who is currently virtually online receiving his masters, and my dog. Like I’ve said it was almost like I had no time to process anything. This wasn't the plan
We left for the city, making it in around 45 minutes, but then we had to stay in a line to get into the campus. Our car constantly went into drive/park for over an hour just moving inches for what felt like forever. We finally got entry into campus, and I went and got my ID, and card to my dorm room. Now here's another sucky part, I was only allowed to have one other person with me in my room. To say it broke my heart would not be a lie.
I grabbed a blue wonky bin that didn't work right and proceeded with my mom to fill it with all of our blue ikea bags. While doing so my Dad had our trunk open trying to build storage compartments for my room. My mom and I spent the next several hours trying to put my room together. I got to meet my roommate in person and we navigated where to put stuff. The rain began to pour and my Dad was stuck in our car. In the meantime I could tell my Mom's heart was slightly breaking as she wasn't able to put things together, and knew this is not how she wanted the move in to go for me. My roommate left to go to the hotel with her Mom, as my Mom and I continued to try and do everything we could. It wasn't until shortly after they left I had a bit of a breakdown feeling heartbroken that my Dad couldn't be with me. I facetimed him crying telling him I wish he could be with me, and also in the back of my head feeling guilty that I had my parents separated on the day of their anniversary. But nevertheless we pushed through.
My Mom and I wouldn't leave my dorm trying to do everything we could until after 10, maybe even 10:30. I hadn't eaten in hours, nor had my parents. I told them I would get fast food, so that hopefully they would get home sooner. I ended up getting McDonalds which coincidentally is the 1st meal I had after finding out I got into FIT. Having to say goodbye to my parents like I did absolutely broke me, and still makes me upset today. I remember looking back at them before I got on the elevator feeling absolutely devastated to have to say goodbye to them like that.
It’s actually weeks later that I am now back writing this post. Why? Well, I became so overwhelmed with emotion I basically broke down. I can now look back and say that it gets better. We learn in life that we have to deal with the unexpected. And while I’m not the most religious I do believe in the statement Jesus doesn't give you anything you can't handle. My first month has been hectic, hard, fun, and so much more. I’m hoping that maybe any freshman in college or ANYONE can relate to starting a new chapter and knowing it's okay to not be okay. New chapters, new beginnings are a beautiful thing and while we will be tested it's what makes us stronger. I guess Kelly Clarkson was right when she said what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
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